we have pet lesbian snakes
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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