Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
