help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I think a kid would responsible me up
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
