Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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