Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
