That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
