I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
