hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
