He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize