I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
