well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I should be sponsored by Trojan
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
