My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
