the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
