can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
ugly people sure do ruin things
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize