dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
FUCK WHALES
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