is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
