i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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