I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
