Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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