I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
