did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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