how can u be prego again
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
