At least make sure they are 18
Why
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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