he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
