He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
