Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
honey bunches of taint.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize