Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
