Betty ford says i'm here all night
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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