Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Found your dick twin last night
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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