I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
