YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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