I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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