come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
