dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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