thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
