As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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