i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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