just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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