i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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