I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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