apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i think i have herpe
just one?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
