and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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