I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm always down for nudity.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
