Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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