No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize