She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
