piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
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