well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
