he tried to breastfeed my turtle
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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