i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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