Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
