Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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