just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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