Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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