I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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