we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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