She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Are we still banned from the library?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
