he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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