Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
