nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
3pm strippers are depressing
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
