It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
