I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize