would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
well most of my day revolves around power hour
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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