If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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