: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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