Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
