ya dads aren't the best wingmen
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
