Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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