Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just gift wrapped bread.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
