Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize