It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
