hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
